Most family men out there hate what they do for a living. They put up with their job simply because they have to in order to make sure there’s food on the table. In this post I’m gonna show you why this is the case for many men and how to turn this around in your own life if you’re feeling stuck.

We all had an ideal vision for what your family and work life would look like when you first got married. What I’ve come to find in my own life and working with many people is that most of us fall short of that vision or lose sight of that vision over time. Here on this blog, we aim at turning that around helping you see that vision come to life.

Whether it’s a powerful and passionate marriage full of love, respect and loyalty. An unbreakable bond with your kids, or you’re looking to advance in your career or need help starting that business You’ve Always Wanted, we got you covered.

In today’s post, we are focusing on your work life and diving into the dreadful feeling of being stuck at a job you hate, but you put up with just because if you don’t, your family doesn’t eat.

Trust me when I tell you that I’ve been there. I honestly was here just a few years ago, but I kinda wanna go back to when my wife and I first got married.

You see back then I was working 2 jobs, 6 days a week and my wife was working a part time job as well. I would leave to my jobs at 6:30 am and would not get home until 10pm at night. So I barely got to see my wife. We would only see each other at night and I’d be dead tired, it sucked.

Everybody around me was giving me praise saying, “man you’re working hard bro, that’s awesome. Providing for you and your wife.” I swear to you that it would piss me off when people said this to me.

To put this in perspective, with what I do now, I make 4 times the money we brought home back then collectively every month. Now my wife doesn’t even work, she’s a stay at home mom and she loves it!

But for a long time I felt like I couldn’t make a move. It felt like we were going to be living like that forever. Working extremely long hours, in jobs we hate, paycheck to paycheck, every month.

There’s 3 things in particular that were making me feel stuck and chances are it may be the same for you if you find yourself in this situation right now. I wanna show you what these reasons are and how to combat them so you can change it.

1. You Believe That You’re Stuck

I’ve spoken to some men, that all they talk about is how much they hate their job. And I always ask them the same question, “Why don’t you quit and find something better?”

You wanna know what their response is, “I can’t because I’ve just been working here a long time and it’ll be hard to start over somewhere new.” Or “Even though I hate it here, it pays the bills, plus I know I have job security here.”

Let me tell you something, that job security you hold so dear is not really that secure. You are completely replaceable, even if you think to yourself, there’s no way my job would ever get rid of me. Ask all those people that got let go during the pandemic and tell me if they thought they had job security?

That’s an illusion and if you believe that you’re stuck and can’t make a move, or making a move is too risky, you’re buying into your own limitations. You literally are making yourself feel stuck by simply believing that You Are Stuck!

We’re all afraid of the unknown. Uncertainty is not an easy thing to come to grips with, but it is necessary if you wanna get out of a shitty job that doesn’t pay you what you’re worth.

Here’s what happens though, you start to work for a company and at first it’s exciting because it’s a new job and you’re learning something new. You’re more than likely getting paid more than you got at your previous job, which makes you even more excited about this job. And what companies usually like to do is indoctrinate you with all of their bullshit. Because in order for you to work at your best, you need to integrate with the culture. Don’t get me wrong, from a business standpoint it makes a lot of sense. But as an employee you wanna be aware of what’s happening to you.

When I used to work for a tech company, it was exciting at first. And when I got promoted it was even more exciting. But I hit a wall in my growth after almost putting 10 years there. Seeing my measly 25 cent raise every year, after a while you stop buying into the bullshit. They fed me all that crap, even had a freakin credo card that they would pass around as if it was the principles you lived by. For a while I bought into that and spouted the same crap.

And this is how you get stuck. You become so cemented in the job that you’re in and you settle. You get complacent and can’t see past the little box you’ve allowed yourself to be put in. Let me assure you that once you take the leap and get out of that box, life gets better.

Yes it’s scary as hell jumping into the unknown, but damn is it worth it. The best thing I ever did was quit that job, hone new skills and jump into entrepreneurship. Don’t get me wrong I still have a day job, only now it pays me a lot more money, serves a purpose and supports what I’m building on the side, which is this business.

Had I not made that move I would’ve never been exposed to the possibilities out there. You see when you believe your own limitations, you fight like hell to keep them. You fight like hell to stay comfortable because being uncomfortable is not fun. This is why most men get home and play video games for hours or binge watch countless hours of Netflix shows. It’s an easy thing to do, instead of getting off work and working on a side business or learning a skill that helps you earn more money.

Don’t buy into your own limitations, instead start shifting your belief to one that states you don’t have any limitations. A mentality of abundance instead of a mentality of scarcity. If you believe that there is an abundance of opportunity out there for you, then you will absolutely find it and you will never feel stuck again.

2. You Don’t Have A Target Number In Mind

This was a real game changer for me and when I realized it, I beat myself up for a while because it was such an easy concept that I never adopted into my own life. If you’re watching or listening to this right now, you have a certain amount of income you make every month. And if you’re like most you only have 1 main source of income which is your job.

The interesting thing that happens is, as you start getting used to the income you make every month, you get fixated on that number. Just to keep the math simple, let’s say the number is 3k per month. All of your expenses, debt, spending money, everything revolves around this number. So you do your best to try to stay within it, but most people don’t save. They’ll put it on a credit card and pay it off over time, again under the guise that they’ll continue making the same 3k every month.

And what happens is we begin to become complacent with making enough money just to get by. Of course, don’t get me wrong. We absolutely want to make more money. No one in their right mind is opposed to that. The problem is that most men that want to make more money don’t have an actual figure in mind. It’s like when you say, “I wanna lose weight.” A lot of men would like to lose weight, but they don’t because they don’t have a target number in mind. How much freakin weight do you wanna lose?

Going back to the point, how much damn money do you wanna make every month so that you and your family are set? What is your realistic target number? I say realistic because some guys are like, I wanna make a million dollars a month. So do I bro, but are you realistically gonna jump from 3k to a million a month, or do you think there might be some milestones you have to hit on the way to that number. Not saying it’s not possible as many men have done it, but unless you win the lottery it does not happen over night.

You wanna have a target number. Look at where you’re at right now and think about what is that realistic next target number for you. Sticking with the same number, if you’re at 3k, maybe you’re next figure is 5k. Ok cool, now you got a number in mind. Then you gotta ask yourself, can I get to that number with the current job I have? If the answer is yes, how long is that gonna take you? If it’s gonna take you 10 years, then I would consider looking for a different job. If the answer to can I get there with my current job is No, then I would also consider either looking for a different job or starting a side business that can supplement your income to get you to that target number.

Without a target number in mind, your job will keep giving you penny raises and you’ll just keep settling for it. But with a target number in mind, you’ll actually start figuring out ways to get there. And once you hit that target number, put the next one on the board and level up again. You can go from 3k to 5k to 10k, then 15k per month and so forth. Some men are legit scared to talk about numbers like this because of this next reason right here.

3. You Think You Lack The Skills

I hear this a lot from men thinking that they need to go back to school for 8 years part time in order to learn some magical skill that’s gonna allow them to make more money. It’s almost like a status thing right? Wow, check him out, he’s working a full time job and going to school on the side to make something of himself. While at the same time he’s a husband and a dad. All sorts of praise for the man that has no literal time for anything because his plate is too full.

We do this because that’s what we were conditioned to believing from an early age. That we’ll never amount to anything simply because we don’t have some piece of paper that costs over 100k to qualify us. Unless you’re looking to become a lawyer, doctor, or work for the government, that piece of paper will never trump experience and skill.

I’ve beat people out of jobs and promotions who on paper would seem a lot more qualified than me simply because of my experience and skills. I learned how to negotiate and sell my skills. That’s really what you’re doing when you go for a promotion or a higher paying job. You are trying to sell yourself to them. You’re trying to convince them that the investment in you is worth it. This allows you to walk into these opportunities with a great deal of confidence and certainty in your own abilities.

But most of us don’t operate like that. We doubt all of our abilities and cling on to these false identities like, “I am not good at learning.” “I am not a reader.” “I am not good at math.” “I am not good with computers.” “I am not good at working with my hands.” The list goes on.

“I am…”are the two most powerful words because what follows after those words determines the identity you put on yourself. That identity/belief can either empower you or strip you of your power. Your self talk is so key to your success in all things in life.

Brother, stop doubting yourself. Stop looking at the failures of your past and drawing definitive conclusions about yourself. So what maybe you sucked at math in school, it doesn’t mean you still have to suck now. Maybe you’re not known for being good with computers or software, guess what you can learn. You have the power to hone new skills and make them your own, but at the same time don’t overlook the ones that you already possess.

If you’re reading this right now and it’s making sense to you, then I want you to start turning the skills you already posses into profit. I wanna give you my 30 Days to Business Blueprint. It’s a free guide that shows you actionable steps on how to start monetizing the skills you already possess. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to make additional income every month leveraging your skills. Just Click Here to grab your copy right now.

Well that’s gonna wrap it up for this week’s post guys. I hope that you got some value from this and if you did, please share it with someone that needs it.

Until next time my fellow Alpha Dad,
- G. Vidal