So you’re about to be a dad and you’re extremely excited, but there’s a small part of you that’s actually kind of terrified. If this is you? You’re not alone. This is the way many dads feel leading up to meeting their child for the first time.

It’s hard not to freak out knowing that you will soon be responsible for another life. And I was no exception to this feeling.

I remember getting home from a long day of work, after dealing with a really bad customer, walking into my home and my wife calling me over to the bathroom. Lined up against the side of the tub, 3 pregnancy tests, all positive.

We were both extremely excited getting the news, especially after 5 years of nothing but negative results. The night we got home from the first Ultra Sound, we had heard our son’s heartbeat for the first time. We came to find out that she was 8 weeks along already. My wife went to sleep super happy that night. I was happy too of course, until I pulled out my smartphone and logged into the Chase Bank App.

I started to worry because our savings account was really low and there staring at me in the face was the $33,000 of debt we had accumulated. Loans and credit card debt with high interest weighing us down. I start to panic thinking about how expensive having a child is gonna be and how much more in debt we’re about to get into.

I ran away into my own mind and focused on all of the things that were out of my control.

 Which brings us to...

 Tip # 1: Focus On What You Can Control

I got caught up in what I like to call the case of a 1000 what ifs? What if I would’ve gone to college and actually finished and got my degree? What if I would’ve gone for that promotion at work? What if I would’ve learned how to take advantage of credit cards instead of having them take advantage of me? What if I wouldn’t have spent all this money buying PS4 games that I got stacked up as high as my ceiling?

I was wasting my time focusing on things that were no longer within my control. At the same time missing out on the beauty of my wife’s pregnancy. Doing this made me miss out on a lot key moments during this time because even though I was there physically, mentally I was somewhere else. 

Enjoy those moments and don’t let yourself lose focus of the present. The past is over and the future hasn’t happened yet. It’s what you focus on in the present that has an effect on what’s to come.

Tip # 2: Set Expectations/Goals

Now Tip # 2 is an interesting one. You see out of all of our friends and family, my wife and I are the last couple to have a kid. Which means we had the benefit of learning from everyone else’s mistakes and successes.

Leading up to the birth of our son, we always asked for advice on what to do and what not to do. One of the things that we learned was to Set Expectations/Goals for your family. 

What I mean by setting expectations is to literally sit down with your wife and lay out what you expect from each other before your child is born. 

My wife had a tough recovery and I had to step in and do a lot of the initial caring for my son and her. From feedings, changing diapers, poop explosions, I was on it. While at the same time taking care of my wife, helping her bathe because she couldn’t bend down or make sudden movements without excruciating pain. 

After she got better then she took on more of the caretaking and would help make it possible for me to work and make money for our household. No one head tripped or complained because we were both on the same page thanks to us laying out those expectations beforehand. 

Along with expectations, setting a goal for your family is also important. When I say goal, I don’t mean let’s make 1 Million Dollars by this time next year. Although that’s a nice goal and I’m all for it, the type of goals I mean here are more realistic and quick. 

A family goal may be, let’s take a walk every Saturday as a family, go to the park, beach, lake, or just have date night. I realize that with Covid, it’s sort of hard to do that right now, but even if you dedicate a movie night at home, it’ll be worth it. 

Trust me, taking care of an infant will take its toll on you and it will become monotonous after a little while. So having something to look forward to will make the world of a difference for you and your family. 

Before I get into Tip # 3, no matter how many goals you set, there is one thing you’re gonna feel like you’re running out of after you have a kid. And that’s Time. So as a way to thank you for joining me here today, I want to give you this free gift called, “The Get Your Time Back Challenge.” 

A simple 3 page guide that if you follow will make you feel like you have 25 hours in a day.

Claim your free gift here by going to AlphaDadConsulting.com/Time 

Tip # 3: Evaluate Your Network 

What does this mean? It simply means to check your friends. Take stock in what they do and how they influence you and your family. Chances are there may be people in your life that you may not want around your family. 

After we had a kid, a lot of people dropped out of my life. Not because I cut them off, but they just sort of fell off because they weren’t about that family life. 

Now there were a good number of people I had to intentionally just cut out of my life. Some of them were even family. Can you relate? 

They just had horrible habits and behaviors that’s didn’t benefit me or my family. I didn’t want their influence around my son or my wife. So I had to make a decision. 

It wasn’t a light decision because of course you care about and love your friends, but if they’re not willing to change their behaviors out of love for you and your family. The same way you would be willing to change your behavior out of love for them and their family, then what’s the point in having them around. 

As an Alpha Dad, you have to make tough decisions for the benefit of you and your family. At the end of the day, it’s just you and your family. 

Don’t be afraid to make those hard decisions as they’ll make a huge impact on the success of your family. 

Until next time. 

• G. Vidal