I want you to imagine that you own a company that you built from the ground up. And you’re getting ready to hire a person that’s gonna be helping you manage this company. I mean this person is gonna be working closely with you, so it’s extremely important that you choose the right person for the job.

Let’s say you get 2 men that apply and are potential candidates for the job. Now on paper when you look at one of the guy’s resume, he seems like the ideal candidate. He’s had similar positions at other companies and he’s helped those companies reach a good level of success.

While interviewing this guy, you notice that he looks a little tired and worn out, so you ask him out of curiosity, “you feeling alright man? Can I get you any water or anything?” And in response he says, “yeah I just had a long night, going through some family stuff right now, wife and kids you know how it is, right?” Now you nod politely, but his answer sort of leaves you feeling a little bit uneasy like there’s something more going on with this guy.

As you continue asking more questions, he makes another comment that doesn’t sit well with you for some reason. In a joking tone he says, “I treat bad clients like I treat my wife, I just give them stuff until they stop complaining, you know what I mean?” Again you just kinda nod politely. The interview ends, he leaves, and in comes the other man applying for the job.

Now this guy, on paper he doesn’t have the same amount of experience as the other guy. Right away, you notice this guy has more energy, dressed well and just seems confident in his skin. He doesn’t look tired at all, in fact, he looks excited to be there with you getting to talk to you. He seems focused and present.

As you start with that famous, “tell me about yourself question.” He starts off by telling you not about his accomplishments in a career setting, but rather his values and the importance of his family and how all of those things align with your company’s values. He’s honest with you and tells you that this is the first time he’s applying for this type of position, but he wanted to do it despite his experience to advance in his career and give his family a better life than what he had growing up. The rest of the interview goes well, comes to an end and he leaves.

So at the end of all this, you’re left with a decision to make. Who do I hire for this position? On one hand you have a guy who on paper seems to be a perfect fit as he has the experience that could benefit your company. But it also seems like his family situation doesn’t seem to be good. Something seems off about him. And on the other hand you have a guy who may not have all the experience you want, but he’s driven and seems to have his family life locked in along with the same values your company holds.

Now there isn’t a right or wrong answer here because either one of these guys could potentially improve or hinder your company. You never really know what’s gonna happen. But if this was my decision to make, I would choose the less experienced guy with the family and values.

Today I wanna dive into the importance of having your family life in order and how it benefits you in all aspects of life. There are 4 benefits in particular that I wanna share with you guys that become a by-product of just having the family life locked in. Now am I saying you’re family life must be perfect, no, that’s not what I’m saying.

What I mean by having your family life in order is that you’ve been able to create the family life experience that you actually want. What that looks like for you, is entirely up to you because everyone is different. For me, it’s simple, a passionate marriage full of love and respect, an unbreakable bond with my kids, a strong connection with God, and an abundance of wealth that allows me the freedom to bless those that I serve.

I know that may sound easy to say, but it’s hard to do. Yet, there are many unsung heroes out there that are doing this every day. They have their family life in order in whatever way that looks for them and they are reaping the benefits of these four things that I wanna share with you.

Alright, let’s get into the first one, Men that have their family life in order are…

1. Driven to Push Past Hard

Let me tell you a story about this experience I had last year when I went into a Subway. I honestly had never witnessed something like this before so that’s why it’s so ingrained in my mind. My younger brother who lives with me had ordered a Sub from Subway and we were in that shopping center when he ordered it, so he called me and asked if I could do him the favor of picking it up. I said, “sure bro, no problem.” I walked into the spot and I noticed that there was only 1 guy working there. He looked like he was maybe 18 or 19 years old. Now when I walked in, there was only a couple of people ahead of me.

But as I made line, more and more people started lining up behind me. It was the dinner rush and the guy was alone. Now mind you, I was just picking up a sub that technically should’ve been ready to go already, but he was tending to the 2 people in front of me, so I was just patiently waiting.

The moment he saw the line pile up, he looked at the line, lifted his arms in the air and sighed in frustration. Whispered something along the lines of, “I can’t believe this” under his breath, then dropped the sandwich he was building on the counter, took off his gloves and went to the back. He never came back out. Me and the other customers were just looking at each other confused as to what had just happened.

Keep in mind, that no one was complaining or being rude, giving him a hard time or nothing. He just was overwhelmed by the amount of people that were there and decided to just bounce. Had to leave without my brother’s sub because I had crying, hungry kids in the car waiting with my wife.

The reason I share this story is because if that would’ve been a man with a family, I don’t believe that would’ve happened. Because despite the overwhelm of having a line and being alone, he would’ve pushed past hard for the simple reason that he has to. If he doesn’t push past this challenging moment at his job, he could lose this job, therefore lose the money that allows him to provide for his family. So even when things get difficult, when he’s frustrated with work, whatever the reason may be, he will push past it for the sake of his family.

A young man who is single and has no family or kids to work hard for, will quit something difficult much more easily.

2. Supported & Loved

A big part of why I wanted to start a dad consulting business is due to my relationship with my dad growing up. You see, he wasn’t really present in my life, despite the fact that he physically lived in our home. And every time I attempted to engage in his world to get closer to him or to learn from him, I was always met with a ton of negativity. My dad was a pretty decent soccer player in his younger days. Won a few trophies in local leagues and if it wasn’t for some injuries, who knows he might’ve been able to play pro at some point.

So for me as his son, that was kind of cool to have a talented soccer player as a dad, naturally I wanted to be like him. So I remember I would grab a soccer ball and start kicking it around trying to do tricks in his presence, just to see if it would prompt him to come play with me or teach me something. And I remember him trying to show me a couple of moves, but when he saw that I couldn’t get it quite right, he would get frustrated, mad and say, “puercada, no sirves para nada.” Which translates to, “you piece of shit, you can’t do anything right.”

Now at this point I’m about 7 or 8 years old, and hearing that over and over again whenever I attempted to use soccer to get close to my dad, kinda wears on you. I remember him working on cars and me trying to go over and help him, again when I couldn’t get something right or if I did something in a way that wasn’t his way, I would get the same words thrown at me. That became a constant thing growing up and for a while I hated soccer, and I also hated anything having to do with handy work around the house or fixing a car. I literally had to become an adult to shift my beliefs around these things. And kill that noise my dad used to drown me with.

When you start a family of your own, it gives you the ability to set the tone for your wife and kids in how you show up every day. And if you operate in a way that shows them that they are truly loved and supported, then that will be reciprocated. You will get that love and support back from your own family. When my 1 year old baby girl comes up to me and gives me a big bear hug out of the blue, nothing beats that. When my 4 year old son comes up to me and says, “hey dad, I love you,” out of the blue, nothing beats that. And when my wife comes up to my office just to give me a kiss randomly, nothing beats that. When you feel supported and loved by your family, it lays a solid foundation for you to go out and conquer the world.

3. Ultimate Focus

When my wife and I were on the brink of divorce in our second year of marriage, every part of my life was chaos. Especially at work, I couldn’t focus on anything other than the issues we were facing. I remember working at an Apple Store during that time and a customer that came into buy a computer shared that he was going through a divorce. And then him and I started talking about that instead of the computer he was trying to buy. It was the weirdest thing to meet a stranger and start talking about one of the hardest trials you’ve ever faced. I’m not saying this was good or bad, but what I am saying is that my focus was only stuck on one thing, which was my broken marriage.

And that’s the thing about when your family life is struggling, you get consumed by it and it makes it hard to focus in other areas of your life. You could be killing it at work, readying yourself for a promotion and then family issues hit and it keeps you from attaining that goal due to a lack of focus. However, when your family life is in order, you have the ability to fully focus on the task at hand because you know everything is good at home.

You’re not thinking about that argument you had with your wife last night, you’re thinking about the project you have to complete by tomorrow and it has your full attention. If you have to do a hard workout, you’re completely focused on the workout. If you’re trying to build a business of your own, you can fully focus on getting into that creative space without clouding your mind with family problems.

Again, I’m not saying that your family life is absolutely perfect. What I’m saying is that you have your family life so dialed in that even when problems arise, they are easily dealt with because you, your wife, your kids, you’re all on the same page, united. You all have a strong bond and operate from a place of love and respect for one another. Trust me when I tell you that this is a game changer of a benefit because it will make you feel like you have more time to dedicate to personal growth and development in all other areas of your life.

4. Sense of Peace

I’ve had the honor and privilege of meeting a lot of men in my life that have learned, in their own way how to play this family game at a high level and the results are evident. Not only do you see it in how they relate to their wife and kids, but there is a visible sense of peace and certainty that resides in them. And that peace shines through in how they operate in business or how they show up for you as a friend or counselor. When you put in the work as a man, husband, and dad to create the family life you want, you get to reap the rewards.

And I’ve come to believe that the ultimate reward for this is a peaceful home. When you enter someone’s home, you can very quickly get a sense for how the family operates. If there’s problems in the marriage, you’ll see signs in how the husband and wife communicate with one another. How they talk about each other in or out of each other’s presence. You’ll see the level of love and respect the kids show the parents. Given enough time in that home you’ll be able to tell if it’s a divided household that needs help or if they are United willing to help others.

I don’t say this to place judgement on anyone, I say this because I know what it’s like being on both sides of that aisle. And I will strive and work hard to unite my family as much as I can in order to achieve that same sense of peace that all these great men that I look up to have. That unity and love shared in a household like that is absolutely contagious. And once you achieve it, I believe it’s a moral obligation to share that with other families that are in desperate need of that peace as well.

Look, if you’re watching or listening to this I’m not sure where you’re at or how your family life at home looks right now. You may be hearing these 4 benefits and saying, “yeah G, you’re right, I’m with you, my family life is in order and I am reaping the rewards of all of these right now.” And if that’s you, that’s awesome! Keep doing the work that produces those results and go help another family get there as well.

But if you’re sitting there saying, “this is not how my family life looks right now, but I really want these things.” Maybe you’re struggling in your marriage or you’re having trouble bonding with your kids, whatever the thing is that’s keeping you from creating that ideal family life you envision, it’s not too late to turn that around.

If you need some help and you want to work with me personally, I wanna invite you to Apply Here.
This will take you to an application that you fill out and will allow me to see how I can best serve you.

Until next time my fellow Alpha Dad,
- G. Vidal